Have you ever found yourself making every excuse not to attend a work event for networking?
The idea of promoting yourself to strangers or engaging in small talk can make your skin crawl, and you may replay every conversation afterward, obsessing over what you said. If this sounds familiar, you might have social anxiety — or you might simply be experiencing a very human reaction.
According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, about 40 million Americans struggle with an anxiety disorder. Combine that with networking, and it can feel like a situation to avoid. But don’t write off networking entirely—there are effective ways to participate without overthinking or second-guessing yourself.
Below are 14 practical strategies to help you feel more at ease when networking.
Go Easy on Yourself
Compassion is essential when managing anxiety. Don’t scold yourself for a misstep in conversation—everyone slips up sometimes. Networking is awkward for many people, but it’s also a useful skill for career growth. When things don’t go as planned, take a deep breath and offer yourself encouragement. Treat yourself as you would a friend; a kinder inner voice can change the tone of the evening and help you stay engaged.
Create Comfort, Bring Support
If networking events make you uncomfortable, consider bringing a friend. It’s increasingly normal to attend events with someone you know, and having a familiar face nearby can reduce tension. Your friend can help initiate conversations and make it easier to approach strangers, turning the experience into something more enjoyable.
Come Prepared
Preparing a few questions in advance can prevent awkward pauses. Choose topics that genuinely interest you—asking about a person’s projects, hobbies, or opinions can spark more natural conversation. People appreciate talking about themselves, so asking thoughtful questions shows interest and keeps the dialogue flowing.
Step Away to Collect Your Thoughts
Social anxiety often involves over-analyzing interactions and fearing mistakes, which is draining. Give yourself permission to step out for a few minutes when you need to recharge—visit the restroom, step outside, or find a quiet corner to breathe. Short breaks help reset your energy and refocus your attention.
Reality Check Your Self-Doubt
Remember that you were invited for a reason. Hosts typically include people whose presence has value. Everyone at the event is there to connect, learn, and share—no one is inherently more deserving than you are. If you encounter someone dismissive, don’t take it personally. The goal is to be authentic and treat yourself with respect.
Activate Those Feel-Good Neurotransmitters
Smiling—even when you don’t feel like it—can trigger serotonin, dopamine, and endorphins, helping you feel more positive. If you attend alone, make gentle eye contact and smile as you move through the room. A warm expression signals approachability and encourages others to start conversations with you.
Go in a Good Frame of Mind
If nerves are strong before an event, call a close friend to boost your mood. Speaking with someone who values you can remind you of your strengths and calm pre-event jitters. A quick, supportive conversation can shift your mindset into a more confident and relaxed place.
Minimize the Jitters
Be mindful of stimulants like coffee or caffeinated sodas before and during events—these can raise your heart rate and increase anxiety. If you need caffeine to stay alert, choose a smaller portion than usual. Managing intake helps you stay calmer and more present during conversations.
And Stay Sober
Alcohol can lower inhibitions, which is tempting when you’re anxious, but too much can make interactions less mindful. Limit yourself to one or two drinks to maintain clarity and control over your words while still feeling relaxed enough to engage.
Be Realistic, Start Slow
Don’t pressure yourself to be the life of the party. Set manageable goals: for your next event, speak to one new person. At the following event, aim for two or three. Small, incremental targets build confidence and offer measurable progress without overwhelming you.
There’s More to Life Than Work
Networking doesn’t have to revolve only around jobs and achievements. Start conversations about personal interests—where someone is from, hobbies, recent movies or books. These topics create rapport more quickly and often lead to more natural discussions about work once a connection is established.
Be Present and Be Yourself
If you’re constantly editing your words to make a perfect impression, you won’t show genuine interest. Trust that you bring value to conversations and speak from an honest place. Authenticity invites trust and encourages others to open up, making interactions more meaningful.
No Hiding
It’s easy to hide behind your phone at events, but if you intend to network, put the phone away periodically. Try staying off your device for 15 minutes, walk around, grab a snack to keep your hands busy, and introduce yourself. If you need a break afterward, check your phone briefly, then re-engage. Short, intentional efforts are more effective than hiding out all night.
It Takes Practice
Networking improves with repetition. Commit to attending events regularly—try five in a month if possible—and aim to make at least one new acquaintance at each. Over time, these small connections will build familiarity and confidence, making future events feel less intimidating and more productive.
Networking is a skill that grows through compassion, preparation, and practice. Use these strategies to make events more manageable and to create authentic connections that support your professional growth.