Twenty-first-century workplaces often feel more relaxed than in the past—with casual dress codes, open floor plans and flexible schedules—but that doesn’t mean every conversational boundary has disappeared. Social media, remote work and flexible hours have blurred formalities, yet professionals still need to speak to supervisors with tact and professionalism, says Kelly Bergeron, an executive coach with Novateur Partners in Atlanta, Georgia.
Bergeron, a former Marine Corps officer and certified corporate coach through the Worldwide Association of Business Coaches (WABC), helps leaders develop effective communication and management skills. In her experience, employees frequently land in avoidable trouble by speaking without thinking. Even today’s looser norms require awareness: boundaries remain, though they may be less rigid. Below are practical guidelines—phrased as things not to say to your boss—and suggested alternatives that show maturity, accountability and a team-first attitude.
No. 1
Overly casual language and familiarity can be interpreted as disrespect. Treat executive meetings and boardroom conversations with professional language and demeanor. Even if you’re friendly, it’s your responsibility to communicate competence and seriousness.
No. 2
Saying bluntly “I don’t know” without context undermines confidence. Instead, admit uncertainty and outline next steps—“I don’t have that information right now, but I’ll research it and follow up with the answer”—which demonstrates resourcefulness and accountability.
No. 3
Casual personal talk has its place, but keep weekend stories and intimate details to a minimum. Managers primarily want to know how you contribute to the team and the company’s goals. Use personal anecdotes sparingly and pivot quickly to work-related updates.
No. 4
Avoid deflecting blame—phrases like “I wasn’t shown how” or “I can’t do that” frustrate supervisors. Own your part in a problem and ask for guidance or training to gain the tools necessary to complete the task effectively.
No. 5
Politics and religion are divisive; they rarely belong in workplace conversations. Even if you feel aligned with colleagues, avoid bringing polarizing topics into professional settings.
No. 6
Don’t burst into your manager’s office demanding a raise without context. Instead frame the conversation around your performance: request feedback, highlight accomplishments, and ask when pay adjustments might be considered based on merit. This approach is respectful and positions compensation as the result of demonstrated value.
No. 7
Swearing undermines credibility. Even if coworkers use coarse language, keep your speech professional—offensive words can offend colleagues or trigger HR concerns in more conservative environments.
No. 8
Complaining about coworkers to your boss is risky. Managers may view complainers as untrustworthy or negative. If asked about another team member, answer honestly but fairly and avoid sounding vindictive.
No. 9
Saying “Why am I doing this task?” signals poor teamwork. Reframe such concerns as a desire to add value: express eagerness to develop specific skills and ask how assignments can align with your growth goals while still meeting project needs.
No. 10
Avoid “I can’t” as a default response. If you lack experience, say you’re willing to learn and request direction or resources. This shows initiative, a willingness to grow and that you’re a constructive team member.
No. 11
Managers want to know employees are productive. If you’re underutilized, volunteer for additional projects that build skills and contribute to the company—this highlights your motivation and reliability.
No. 12
Personal choices outside work are your business, but when you’re on the clock, be ready to perform. Showing up hungover or unprepared erodes trust. Maintain professionalism and deliver your best while at work.
No. 13
Never assume—assumptions breed misunderstandings. When requirements or expectations are unclear, ask clarifying questions early to ensure alignment and avoid wasted effort.
No. 14
In today’s connected world, the excuse “I didn’t have time” can raise concerns. If your workload is unmanageable, ask your manager to help prioritize tasks so you can focus on the most important outcomes and maintain quality.
No. 15
Never use quitting as a bargaining chip. Threatening to leave signals instability and can prompt managers to prepare for your departure. Instead, seek feedback and professional development opportunities to demonstrate commitment and growth.
No. 16
Dismissing an idea as “That won’t work” shuts down creativity. Encourage discussion by asking how a proposal might function and contribute—this shows openness and collaborative problem-solving.
No. 17
Don’t hide potential delays. Provide timely status updates so managers can reallocate resources or adjust expectations. Sharing information—even tough news—gives leaders the chance to help and keeps trust intact.
No. 18
Your boss pays for your time, so be responsive when asked for attention. At the same time, practice “managing up” by communicating deadlines and priorities when you request meetings so leaders understand your workload and can schedule appropriately.
No. 19
Focusing solely on compensation can make you seem transactional and less committed. Managers may question your priorities or contributions. Instead, emphasize growth and learning opportunities when discussing responsibilities or advancement.
No. 20
Avoid sounding inflexible. Innovation often requires experimentation and open-mindedness. If a colleague proposes a different approach, ask how it would work and offer constructive ideas to improve it.
No. 21
Everyone has tasks they dislike, but constant complaining saps morale and undermines your value. Approach unpleasant duties with a positive attitude, and you’ll stand out as a dependable team player.
No. 22
Comments that suggest superiority can poison team dynamics. Avoid shirking responsibility or implying others are beneath you—such behavior damages relationships and trust.
No. 23
Don’t claim someone else’s role is meaningless. You may not see all the behind-the-scenes work other roles entail. If you’re interested in career growth, ask to participate in projects that build the skills needed for advancement.
No. 24
Never badmouth a customer. Speaking ill of clients raises red flags about your professionalism and ability to handle difficult situations. Managers value employees who can manage challenging relationships and find productive solutions.
No. 25
Sounding exasperated or dismissive toward a manager shows disrespect and immaturity. Maintain composure even during disagreements—this reflects emotional maturity and keeps you in a position to contribute.
No. 26
Avoid commenting on a colleague’s or superior’s physical appearance. Remarks about someone’s body or looks—even well-intended—can be risky and are better left out of workplace conversation.
No. 27
Getting overly comfortable at work can breed apathy. While everyone has low-energy days, consistently appearing disengaged undermines credibility. Stay focused and professional while on the job.
No. 28
Be honest in interviews and on the job. Inflating your experience may catch up with you later. Employers expect you to deliver on the skills you claimed—if you overstated abilities, you’ll face consequences and missed opportunities for genuine growth.
In short, modern workplaces value authenticity and approachability, but they also reward professionalism, accountability and thoughtful communication. By avoiding these conversational missteps and using the suggested alternatives, you’ll build stronger relationships with managers and position yourself for growth and success.