Before Daniel Goleman — the journalist and author who popularized the concept of emotional intelligence (E.I. or E.Q.) — this set of skills was often overlooked in workplaces where I.Q. dominated hiring and promotion metrics.
Goleman recounts discovering the research on emotional intelligence in 1990 and feeling “electrified by the notion.” Since then the term has moved from niche academic language into everyday use, recognized as a crucial element of both personal development and professional success.
Although the past two decades have brought wider acceptance of the science behind emotional intelligence, we are still expanding our understanding of its practical applications. Ellen Leanse, a Silicon Valley leadership coach and author of Happiness Hack, argues that society has not yet reached “peak E.I.” — there is more to learn about sharpening emotional intelligence and using it to create positive change.
Below are clear signs that you have strong emotional intelligence and why each one matters.
You Are Self-Aware
“The foundation of emotional intelligence is self-awareness. Are you aware of the emotions that drive your behavior and what impact they have?” asks Bill Benjamin, a partner at the Institute for Health and Human Potential (IHHP), a research and consulting organization that trains people worldwide in emotional intelligence.
Self-awareness starts with recognizing and mapping your emotional responses. Which interactions make you feel joyful, angry, sad or fearful? Benjamin recommends continuously observing your behavior at work to identify trigger points and blind spots. That means testing your self-perception against how others see you — an approach IHHP uses in its assessments of core E.I. competencies.
You Can Manage Your Emotions
“The most important thing about a career is how you build relationships, and if you’re a leader, how you build teams,” Benjamin says. “It’s about managing the emotions that come up when there’s tension and conflict. People who excel at that tend to have high E.I.”
Feeling anger or anxiety in stressful situations is normal. What sets emotionally intelligent people apart is their ability to handle those emotions so they don’t negatively affect others. Ask yourself: when stress or conflict arises, can you remain solution-focused and confident without panicking? Can you make tough decisions under emotional pressure? Can you empathize to motivate and inspire? Can you own your behavior?
A consistent “yes” to those questions indicates leadership strengthened by emotional intelligence.
You Can Handle the Hard Talk
Research from IHHP suggests that about 80 percent of the qualities that make an exceptional leader fall within the domain of emotional intelligence. That includes the capacity to hold difficult conversations—delivering constructive criticism, confronting poor performance, and addressing emotional conflict.
“Most people avoid these conversations because they’re afraid,” Benjamin notes. “They don’t want to upset people; they want to be liked. The emotionally intelligent can manage those feelings and step in when it matters.” Progressing in one’s career often depends on the willingness and ability to work through those emotionally charged discussions to build trust and achieve goals.
You Know How to Influence People
Great leaders secure team buy-in by creating emotional connection. Influence flows from the ability to speak to people at an emotional level, eliciting feelings that motivate action. Empathy is essential: understanding what drives others’ behavior enables leaders to inspire and mobilize them toward a shared mission.
“Leaders can only motivate or inspire if they understand those emotional drivers,” Benjamin says.
You Score High in Performance Reviews
As organizations increasingly recognize the link between emotional health and business outcomes, low emotional intelligence can undermine an otherwise strong résumé. Recruiters and managers are prioritizing E.I. and incorporating it into performance evaluations—measuring employees on their ability to learn from mistakes, accept feedback, manage emotions, and perform under pressure.
Benjamin sees a shift at senior levels, where more organizations are moving from a results-only focus to values and behaviors grounded in emotional intelligence.
You Lead With Presence
Leanse, who has advised leaders at major tech companies for decades, ties emotional intelligence to presence. Leading with presence means more than merely being physically there; it means listening deeply, pausing before responding, showing open body language, and expressing genuine curiosity. These subtle signals indicate someone is truly processing what’s being said rather than reacting impulsively.
In a culture that often overvalues productivity, cultivating presence is an undervalued yet powerful leadership quality that enables better connection and clearer thinking.
You Don’t Get Sucked Into Drama
High emotional intelligence helps people shift from reactive to responsive thinking. Instead of being pulled into workplace drama, emotionally intelligent individuals step back, slow down, and observe their emotional reactions. That distance allows them to defuse tense situations and reduce misunderstandings and poor decisions driven by unchecked emotions.
You Perform Under Pressure
When emotions run high, projects can derail. Emotional intelligence provides fluency in recognizing what emotions mean and how they affect the group dynamic. Encouraging people to check in with their feelings—using emotions as signals rather than ignoring them—helps teams set boundaries, avoid escalations, and keep work on track under stress.
You Rely on Emotions to Make Decisions
While some discount emotions as subjective or irrelevant, people with strong E.I. treat emotions as a legitimate source of information. In data-driven environments, emotional insights about customers, colleagues, and contexts can be as critical as numbers. Tapping that “emotional evidence” complements logic and evidence, often revealing nuances that improve decision quality.
“Emotions are a form of intelligence that guide and navigate us,” Leanse says. Being emotionally attuned can make you a more nuanced decision-maker and reduce unintended consequences by enabling empathetic, complex thinking.
You Understand Your Customer
Emotional intelligence is especially valuable for understanding the people you serve. While data reveals outcomes, empathy explains the motivations behind those results. Business, at its core, is people serving other people. Using E.I. to connect with customers uncovers deeper needs, informs development decisions, and helps avoid missteps.
You Value Equality and Diversity
Workplaces that lack diversity and equality are often riddled with tension and emotional barriers. Karen Fleshman, founder of Racy Conversations, facilitates tough discussions on these topics and observes that people with high E.I. embrace diversity because it creates more creative, productive, and healthier environments. They feel comfortable bringing their authentic selves to work and encourage others to do the same, fostering honest communication and a more enjoyable workplace.
You Know How to Ask For a Raise
Asking for a raise can be especially hard for those who feel marginalized or uncertain. Fleshman recommends using emotional intelligence to clarify your values and self-worth before negotiating. Approaching the conversation with self-awareness enables confident, non-arrogant communication. High E.I. also sharpens your ability to read the other person’s emotional cues and to craft an effective negotiation strategy.
You Know How to Be a Team Player
Working with diverse teammates produces many emotions. People with high emotional intelligence don’t shut down when navigating those complexities; they use emotions to improve listening, collaboration, and ultimately outcomes. That emotional fluency leads to stronger teamwork and greater productivity.
You Know Your Work Style
Talent alone won’t guarantee success if the environment doesn’t fit you. Emotional intelligence enhances self-awareness about how you respond to different work conditions. Paying attention to how you feel in various settings helps you choose conditions where you can flourish: whether you thrive in chaos or calm, alone or in teams. Exercises that clarify preferred work styles help people align roles and environments with their strengths and preferences.
Recognizing and cultivating these signs of emotional intelligence can improve leadership, teamwork, customer understanding, and personal well-being—benefits that extend across careers and organizations.